I'm still me but different.....

First off let me appologize for this post....I'm doing it on the mac and haven't quite figured everything out yet (like how to change the color and size)....I'll get there. My laptop will be living at school until the weekends so I'll be a mac girl during the week.

Now to the post....I've made several discoveries the past few weeks.

1. I can use Stephanie's naptime to do things I love (and not just things I need to do). Stephanie takes a 3 hour nap in the afternoons. Last week I used this time to clean my house (haven't done that in 9 months so it was fun :) I also worked in my yard which I LOVE!!!) I realized that yes, she'll stay asleep if I'm not in the next room and I can have some me time which is good for both of us.

2. I really like waking up to a clean kitchen and fresh coffee. Due to Josh's and my current situation I'm in charge of my mornings (and my coffee :) Sometimes I wish I was Kate (from Jon and Kate plus 8)...she wakes up to a nice cup of coffee made perfecty by her loving husand...that's where my wishing ends (she has to wrangle 8 kids all day...I'm enjoying my 1 :) So last night I got smart. I have a programable coffee pot so I set things up and loaded it up with WODERFUL Mexican blend, orgaic coffee (THANKS BONNIE!!) and threw in a couple of cinnamin sticks...this makes it very similar to one of Josh and my favorite resteraunts (what a great way to wake up :) When Stephanie goes dow for the night I wash all bottles and dishes, pack her diaper bag and my lunch, get the coffee pot ready and then just take a deep breath..it feels good to have things in order :)

3. I missed my wine more than I realized the past year!!! I have gotten back in the habit of having half a glass of red wine each night while having some "me" time and it has made a world of differece. I'm not a big drinker by ANY means! Wine is about it. I only have half a glass and I sleep better, my knee pain is less, my back pain is less and it forces me to slow down (wine is meant to be sipped :) I take my wine and either play on the computer, watch some TV or enjoy a QUIET bubble bath....I love this time. I keep my monitor close so I can watch Stephanie's sweet face....quiet time is the best!

4. Technology s amazing and can be used for so much good! I like to think of myself as a techy person....but I also grow tired of our dependence on it. I don't like the TV on for background noise (I prefer music), I don't like computer games or video games (I would rather be playing with Stephanie!) I have come to rely on my laptop and the mac alot the last few months and they have been amazing for my relationships with Josh and God....let me explain. I am able to blog so Josh (and the rest of ya'll) are able to check in. I'm also able to keep a sort of joural on here which is theraputic to me! I love to write (yes Josh, I know...write a book :) I also am able to download music and podcasts to my computer and ipod (which I can plug into the Jeep and listen to). Our church has podcasts that I have downloaded and am listening too...it's amazing how much I can get out of a message when Im at home and able to minimize my distrations (I get so distracted at church). I have been able to listen to messages and then talk to Josh and Bonnie about them...so much fun! They also have a podcast of worship music! Stephanie and I have "church" at home every Sunday morning (since her naps usually conflict with us actually going to church).

5. I was made to be a working mom. Now, this may change (as many things in my life do). Stephanie went to the babysitters all day today (a very good friend of mine from Fellowship) and I went to work to get things in order for my return (tomorrow). I LOVED being back at work! God has provided a wonderful job and great people to work with! Stephanie was ALL SMILES when I went to pick her up. She was giving big smiles to both me and Rebecca (the babysitter)....Rebecca said she did great and was super happy all day. I'm able to go to work and be with my kiddos (that I love!) and know that Stephanie is MORE than taken care of! Then I get to come home and we just play and play..today was a great day!

6. God gives us great strength! This is last, but most important. In reflecting where we've been and what's gone on the last year or even the last 4 months I'm amazed! Everyone tells me how strong I am....it's SO not me! I talk to God all the time about how I feel and what's going on. He gives me AMAZING stregth to handle things I KNOW I would not be able to handle without Him! How do I know this....I pray ALL THE TIME! I pray because I NEED Him...I need to feel His presece, I need to know He's protecting my family and I need to know He'll never leave me. I don't think I've ever prayed so much in my life (that I can remember). Josh and I started this journey with a prayer and have continued ever since...it's amazing the peace you get when you know He's in control (and you allow Him to be :) You all know I'm a planner and like to be in control. Being a wife and mother takes that control away from you and has forced me to give it to God....it's no fun sometimes (because I try to hang on), but the past several months I have let go and it's bee awesome!

Well that's my therapy for tonight ;) Love posting and love all the comments....Have a wonderful week and don't expect much from me posting wise until the weekend....I will be spending my time with my princess and sleeping I'm sure :) Much love to all!