Fostering.....

Our first foster placement has come and gone.....never thought my house would feel empty with "just" two kiddos in it :)  We have an empty bed in the nursery and an empty bed in the big girl room.....this is SUPER hard for me! Knowing kids are out there and just waiting for the phone call.....I'm working on "waiting well", some days are better than others.

Baby Boy came straight from the hospital THREE HOURS after our agency called us and I said yes.  I had time to pick up diapers, formula and a baby swing....oye!  It was a super fun day and I look forward to the craziness when that next call comes.  Little man was with us for a month before being moved to a kinship placement.  He never felt like he was ours, or that he would stay long.  I loved every minute of snuggles and kisses, miss him very much but am SO VERY HAPPY for him to be home with family.  I pray (and very much believe) he will be back in his momma's arms in 2011.

There is a song by Amy Grant....Breath of Heaven.....I have ALWAYS loved this song and can sing it word for word.   This Christmas season it held a very different meaning.  I felt a strange connection to Mary (the mother of Jesus).  God chose her to care for his own son....Her out of everyone in the world....that's a BIG deal.  I understood her feelings of unworthiness and being overwhelmed by the magnitude of the situation.  God had chosen me to care for this sweet baby boy while his mother couldn't.  He had chosen me to care for his every need, bond with him, snuggle him....love him as my own fully believing he wouldn't be staying long.  This was a VERY scary, overwhelming and humbling experience.  I'm not sure I have ever felt more unworthy in my life. I went to visitation once and met baby boys mommy.....my heart broke for her! I was leaving the office with HER CHILD and she was leaving empty handed.  This made it even more unbelievable that God would chose me to take care of this sweet boy.  I was the one to witness many of his firsts, I held him when he was sick and I knew all his little tricks to make him happy......

I can't fully explain it and maybe you have to walk this path to understand.  I have had students that I have become very bonded to and loved but having someone elses child in your home and being your responsibility is a big deal......I'm still overwhelmed by it all and am so humbled that this is the path God has given Josh and I.  All for HIS glory.....I do not have the strength for this at all outside of Him :)

So our house is back in order, Christmasing is done and now we wait....have I mentioned I DO NOT wait well?????  I keep my phone on and by my side at all times, I jump a bit when it rings and am constantly thinking about who the next little one will be.  I try not to think about them "out there" in the world.....I know their circumstances aren't good (otherwise they wouldn't need foster care).  This is a crazy road to be walking, not the road I had envisioned us taking to adoption but I am SO blessed by this journey already and we are only 7 months in :)  Who knows, maybe this time next year we will be working on an adoption.....or maybe I will be sitting here with my two girls waiting, waiting for another call saying a kiddo is on their way :)

ps, I know God will give us what is best for our family but I am SO praying for another boy.....my heart was just melted by little man! Plus, now I have the crib and cute clothes, hahaha!!  I always said I wanted all boys growing up....I will laugh when I end up with a houseful of girls :)

a little bit of this, a little bit of that.....

I need to update but don't have the energy (or caffine) to say all that is on my mind.  It's been a BUSY two months!!  Playdates, Foster Placement, Foster Placement leaves, Daddy gone for TWO AND A HALF weeks and now the fun of the Christmas Season!!!  Everything is calm now.....I feel like it's the calm before the storm.  We are waiting for our next placement....I'm reminded daily of how I DO NOT wait well :/  I am working on that!

Here is a mindless update....until I have either had more sleep or more caffeine ;)

Stole this from a friend, Thanks Jana :)

Outside my window… Cloudy, rainy, chilly.  This weather makes me happy!! Lots of snuggles, lazy days in PJ's and old blankets to bundle up in......and oh so wonderful seat warmers in my super duper minivan :)

I am thinking…about the children "out there" that will one day be in our home.  How hard it is for me to be getting Christmas ready for my precious girls knowing that there are children out there who need a home......we have two beds empty and waiting, I HATE waiting.

I am thankful for…my hubby.  He is amazing!  He has returned home from 2 1/2 weeks of military training only to be going nonstop with Daddy and Hubby duties along with long shifts at work and minimal sleep.  He is fantastic and I am so blessed to be able to spend the rest of my life with him!!!

From the kitchen…ugh, the kitchen! I have done NO dishes today and yesterday grocery shopped leaving EVERYTHING on the counters except what had to go into the fridge!!  Tomorrow am will being good coffee, Folk Angel Christmas music and a CLEAN KITCHEN.

I am wearing…the most amazing long underwear-type jammies from Old Navy (and they are on sale for $5 a pair right now...I bought every color they had in my size, haha! But did have to promise hubby I wouldn't wear them outta the house ;)

I am creating… nada....but I need to be working on finishing up some fabulous Christmas gifts and WRAPPING!!!!  I do have some earring designs in my head....does that count??

I am going…to clean my house, wrap and go to the gym tomorrow!  and all before naptime (well that's the plan anyway)

I am reading… nada.  that's kinda sad!

I am hoping…to have a foster placement soon! Lord please bring us a kiddo (or two) that is a wonderful addition to our family.  Bring them soon so we can show them your love and give them a safe place to live!

I am hearing…the white noise of the baby monitor....which means I am NOT hearing any children!!! They are sound asleep :)

Around the house…toys are everywhere, dishes need to be done, groceries need to be put away and A TON of laundry needs to be folded.  Tomorrow is going to be a big day ;)

One of my favorite things… my hubby's hugs....there is something so powerful and restoring in his arms.

A few plans for the rest of the week… clean, laundry and enjoy the celebration of Jesus birth.  Stephie is so excited to have our bday party for Jesus and to go see more "Bethlehems" this week. She is kinda obsessed with driving around and looking at lights.....but we HAVE to find nativity scenes or she freaks out.   This Christmas has been SOOOOO much fun because she is excited and she is actually understanding what it's all about....woohoo!!

Have a Very Merry Christmas!!

   Please keep Foster Kiddos in your prayers.....

so many kiddos, so few forever families :/

Aunt Lori

 Again, can't get blogger to flip these pics, ugh!!!  Josh's Aunt Lori was in town for business so we loaded up and spent the afternoon with her.  I had only met her once before (10 years ago to be exact) so this was a big treat!!  She was super nice and the girls just loved her.  Hate that his extended family lives so far away....working on a road trip in 2011 to go visit :)

 Mary loved all of Aunt Lori's "pretties"....the was entertained the whole time :)  Mary is wearing an outfit Lori bought Stephie and Stephie is wearing an outfit Mamaw sent.....these girls have such precious clothes thanks to everyone but Mom and Dad,  haha!

 This picture CRACKS ME UP! This is Stephie's "I Love You SOOOO much" face, and Mary's face is typical when her sister becomes a bit much.....which is DAILY!!!

Family time with the Brooks side

 These are a few pics from our monthly "Brooks Family Dinner" at Josh's parents house. Mum (Bonnie) cooks, the kids play and the boys watch sports or old westerns....it's AWESOME and something I so look forward to each month!! Josh's sister J'aime has the SWEETEST little moose of a boy....Vince.  He was sitting up and loving Mary (who at this point wasn't sitting up yet). Vince and Mary are two weeks apart (she is older).

 This picture wouldn't rotate, ugh!  Had to post it though....too cute of Josh with his girls!

 Papi (Jim) playing with Vince.  Josh's dad is so much fun with the kids....soon the kids will be fighting over who gets to snuggle with Papi on the couch :)

 Josh and Stephie enjoying some YUMMY chocolate pie (dairy free, thanks Mum!!!)  Pretty sure this is the first time Stephie has really dug in and enjoyed the pie.  This pie is a family tradition at the Brooks house (and something I still haven't tried to make, I'm scared!)

 Mum, Gracie and Mary playing on the floor.  Josh's parents dogs (Gracie and Jake) are so good with the kids!

 J'aime and Stephie playing on the couch.....they got super loud and sweet Vince slept through it all, haha!  Such a boy :)

 Awwwww, cousins! They do this everytime they see eachother :)

Our girls are so blessed to have two sets of grandparents who love them so much!  Thanks to Josh for getting the camera out and capturing these cute moments (sorry for the poor light and blur....it was an overcast day and the flash didn't make it any better)

June Pictures

The Big Kid Room with Stephie's new bed (complete with trundle!
Thanks to all who contributed for her bday!!)


The Baby Room (changing table to on the right, will be moved if a second crib is needed)
Father's Day.....our last party at Auntie Laura's :(

Both girls FIRST TIME in a pool!!! I'm a horrible mommy and forgot Stephie's life jacket....Josh didn't mind holding her the whole time :)

Mary and Joe

Mary and her boy Joe (Josh's best friends little boy). These two crack Kinome and I up EVERY time!!! So fun! While they little one's were having a photo shoot the big sisters (Stephie and Lily) were off playing princess in the bedroom.....love that our kiddos get along so well (and good for them because they are stuck with eachother ;)

Memories.....

We ventured to California....the Brooks girls and my parents. It was an AWESOME trip thanks to some wonderful advice from my auntie sue (thank God she called with words of wisdom when she did!) Traveling with two kiddos and no daddy is SUPER STRESSFUL!! But it turned out great and I am so blessed to have been able to take my girls back to see my family and make some of the same childhood memories I have :) Here is just a bit of our AMAZING trip back to Cali...

Stephie lovin her sweet Tucker already!

Tuckers SUPER CUTE room! Daddy and Wade painted it while we were there.
Special memories at my grandparents house......



uhhhh, the happiest place on earth FOR SURE!




Our old house in Cali....the guy was so nice to let me take some pics!
More memories at my grandparents house. Was SUPER hard to be in Cali and not staying with them.....this was a VERY different trip and the first time I have REALLY felt like the grown up when visiting my fam in Cali. An adjustment for sure!


DO YOU SEE THAT PILE OF CHEERIOS ON MY GRANDPARENTS FLOOR???? FYI, that was never allowed when I was little :) Pretty sure food was ONLY allowed in the kitchen, haha!! Stephie had a BLAST with her Papa Bill and GG!!!! Memories made FOR SURE!
Family picnic, bday celebration and surprise shower for baby Tucker (thanks Michelle) Love evenings in Cali!! Amazing weather!!!
Mary loungin at my grandparents.....on my Aunt Tetti's blanket!
Toesies at the beach~before I was stung by a jellyfish :/
It's a good thing this sling holds Mary so well ;)
There are no words...
.God is so good!!

.....pure joy.....