Who I am....

My TRUE Identify....

I am a mother and I am learning more about this new and wonderful identity every day. I hear people say "being a mom is what you do, it's not who you are.....be careful to keep your identity" my identity?? Pretty sure my identity is now Wife, Mother with "Kristi" sprinkled throughout it all. Being a wife and mother is what my life is about and I'm loving every decision making, soaked through diaper changing, errand running, snotty-nose wiping, sweet girl giggles, lonely night, picture taking, blog making minute of it....let me explain.

Being a wife was an easier role to slip into....well in parts. When Josh and I were married it was like we were still dating (except now we lived together ;) We had hung out and intertwined our lives and friends so much during our courtship that our transition into marriage was super smooth....and awesome! I would say we have never really had an "adjustment" period...I pray I can always say that :)

Now, being a mother.....this was difficult and a challenge from the moment we decided we wanted to get prego. Tons of dr visits thinking I wasn't ovulating (I was). "morning" sickness was all day everyday sickness. Three days of wonderful, natural laboring at home turned into a scary, fast delivery accompanied by an epidural and
petosin (sp?)....my plans were all off.

Now I have this WONDERFUL little girl and have a whole new series of duties, responsibilities, worries and joys. She wakes up with the most PRECIOUS giggles, smiles and always has a ton to tell me :) She is a happy, low maintenance baby which has been such a blessing! Being a mommy is the best ever! If it weren't for the world around me I would have no complaints/worries :)

So many decisions have to be made!!!!

• breastfeed or not....I had made my decision but my body failed me. Things worked out in the end.
• work or stay at home.....depends on what day you ask me
• daycare or babysitter.....Thank God I have a WONDERFUL friend who is watching Stephanie
• vaccinations or not
• Organic or not....lots of research was done!
• passy or not....she decided for me :)
• pierce her ears or not.....don't make your decision until you have to hold your little one down to get a shot.
• Co sleep? discipline? diaper brands? and so many more!!!
• public school, private Christian school, home-school.....now that's a loaded question

So many decisions and choices are always floating in my head.....if you didn't know already (not sure how you missed it) but I am a HUGE planner and love to have ALL THE FACTS before making any decision. I had started having trouble sleeping a few weeks ago due to all these decisions that had been or would need to be made in the near future. I have had to work VERY hard to give it all to God. Prayer is becoming an EVEN BIGGER part of my bedtime routine. I have found incredible strength in the bible, friends, bible blogs and talking to other mommies whose opinions I greatly value. Here are some things I have learned....

God is always with us, always provides an "out", always provides an answer (not always what you want to hear) and that I am not going through anything that hasn't been overcome in the past. My soon to be tattoo.....I Corinthians 10:13

People will ALWAYS have opinions and often give it to you....whether you ask or not. I have had to remind myself that when all is said and done Josh and I will answer to God for our marriage, parenting and lives (and all decisions we make)......we don't answer to the lady at the grocery store, co workers, books, statistics, the dr or anyone else. We need to pray for wisdom, do some research and then make the decision WE feel is best for OUR family.....God will make His will known (and for me it seems to always be VERY obvious as to what He wants me to do). This makes it easier to make the decision, but I still feel like I have to justify it to anyone who asks.....I'm working on that.

It's been fun....the "mommy me" buys organic, purifies drinking water, recycles, avoids pesticides, enjoys Jon and Kate plus 8 as her new favorite TV show, loves taking walks to the park, lays on the floor just watching her princess play, gives dozens of kisses, will do anything to make her little girl laugh, keeps a snot sucker in her coach purse (Stephanie has a cold), goes to work with drool or spit up on her shirt atleast twice a week and takes a million pictures a day. I love every minute of being a mommy.....

God is doing something great in our lives and it keeps taking these CRAZY turns.....This is a time of HOURS of prayer, meditation and probably even some fasting. Huge family decisions need to be made and I want to make sure He is the center of it all.....guiding us to the ultimate end, eternity with Him....for not just myself but also my husband and our children. It's alot of responsibility....I would NEVER make it without Him!!!

Thank you God for my amazing, supportive husband, my precious, healthy little girl, Your Son, Salvation, peace, joy and all things that come from a relationship with you. You are the reason I am able to smile everyday....despite what life may throw my way. and thank you for two more days of school....We made it without any illness from Stephanie and now we get to be a family of three and play all summer!!! Thanks for the little things like smiles, drool-covered kisses and every sweet sound that comes out of her mouth :)